take my whole life too
by manic pixie nightmare girl
Summary: Narcissa would not marry Lucius. She would find a way to control her own fate. (James/Narcissa)


**For Hogwarts**

 **Anatomy and Physiology task 3: Write about trying to control someone/thing.**

 **Cheese Board: James/Narcissa**

 **Note: I took some liberties with ages here, hence why James and Narcissa are closer in age.**

* * *

Narcissa was afraid she was going to throw up. Her father stood before her, gripping Lucius' hand and smiling a bright smile. He didn't have to explain; she understood perfectly. She was old enough that marriage was inevitable. Pretty girls like her weren't supposed to go through life without a ring on their fingers.

Why did it have to be Lucius? There was something about the thin, blond boy's arrogant smirk and cold eyes that unnerved it. It was like he was a predatory, stalking and waiting for his kill, and she was his prey. He would never respect her. He would wear her around his arm, show her off like a trophy.

"Isn't this excellent news, Cissa?" Lucius asked, his thin lips tugging into an amused smile. He knew how much she hated him; he found it funny. "We will be married this summer, once you finish Hogwarts."

She stared, unblinking, unmoving. All she could do was look at Lucius and her father's hands as they sealed her fate and damned her to a life of misery.

"Say something, Narcissa," her father said sharply. "We have much to gain from this union. You ought to be happy."

 _Happy._ The word almost made her laugh. How was she supposed to be happy when her world was ending? This wasn't the future she wanted. She was content to become a dutiful housewife and abandon her dreams of independence, but it wasn't Lucius who she imagined by her side.

"I'm honored," she said quietly, forcing herself to smile. She hoped it didn't look as fake as it felt. "If you'll excuse me…"

She didn't wait for either man to agree. Without another word, she turned and hurried, her throat tightening like she was on the verge of choking. "Stupid," she whispered to herself. "So bloody stupid."

She knew this would happen. Try as she might to escape it, she was still a Black, and she was expected to put her own desires aside for the sake of the family. That meant marrying a man she would never love, and she hated it.

Narcissa sucked in a deep, trembling breath. She wrung her slender hands together and quickened her pace until she was safe and sound in her bedroom. There, alone and shaking, she collapsed on her bed and allowed the tears to fall.

She wouldn't give in. She refused. This was her life, and it wasn't fair that she wasn't allowed to control it.

"I will not marry him," she decided. "I refuse."

X

"Have a good holiday?" James asked, hazel eyes sparkling with delight when he saw her.

"I want to get married," Narcissa said.

She didn't care how forward it was. That was one of the many reasons she loved him. Though he was a pure-blood too, and his family was once just as traditional as the Blacks, James Potter didn't give a damn about being proper and following rules. Narcissa didn't have to pretend when she was around him.

He chuckled and offered her a bright, pearly grin. "Well, I always wanted to be a June bride," he said, running his fingers through his messy black hair. A moment of silence passed, and all signs of jest seemed to fade. "You're serious?"

"No. Sirius is my cousin," she deadpanned.

James shook his head. "I've had some wild ideas before, but never something _that_ off the wall."

Narcissa shrugged. She was well aware that it was a mad idea. Although she cared for James more than she could ever say, marriage was a bit sudden. Still, this was her life. She was going to control it. Her father wanted her to sacrifice her own happiness, and she refused.

"What happened?" he asked. "This is so sudden."

She told him everything that happened during the last week of winter break- the announcement, the fact that her mother was already trying to find Narcissa the perfect gown, the pressure from Lucius to lose a little extra weight because Malfoy women were meant to frail and beautiful. It was all too much, and tears began to spill from her eyes.

It wasn't fair. She didn't want to marry Lucius. Why couldn't she have some say in what happened to her?

"Bloody hell," James said. He took Narcissa by the hand and pulled her close. "I'm so sorry, Cissy. You deserve so much better than that creep."

"I have better," she reminded him.

He grinned and released her hand. "You do," he confirmed, pushing her white-blonde hair behind her ear. "It's a bit unconventional, but I would love to marry you. On one condition."

She raised her brows. "And what's that?"

James brought his lips to hers, kissing her gently. Narcissa melted at his touch. It felt like a hundred butterflies were fluttering inside her stomach, and she never wanted it to end. "Remus gets to be your bridesmaid."

Narcissa snorted. Of course James would have something absolutely ridiculous to say. It was just another reason she loved him. "Deal."

She would not be a slave to so-called destiny. Somehow she would control her life.


End file.
